How to Live · ages 6–9
What makes a good day?
Roller-skating is more fun than homework. Would a life of only roller-skating be a good life?
There are two very different ideas hiding in that question. One says: a good life is the life with the most good moments in it. The other says: a good life is a life that means something, even if it includes hard bits.
Most people want both, and the two pull against each other. Hard things (learning violin, training, being patient with a friend) feel bad now and feel good later. That is why ‘what do I want right now?’ and ‘what do I want my life to be?’ are different questions.
Ancient Greeks called the second one eudaimonia - usually translated as ‘flourishing’, like a plant growing well. Not a mood. A shape.
Try it
For three days, at bedtime, write one thing that felt good and one thing that mattered. Look at the two lists on day four. Which one is longer? Which one do you remember better?
What do you think?
Do you think there is a right answer to this question?
Talk about it
- Would you rather have a very fun week or a very meaningful year?
- Is it ever good to be unhappy?
- Can you decide to be happy?
Yes, but… — the arguments people actually make
If roller-skating is fun and homework isn't, a life of roller-skating must be the best life.
Then the best life would be the one with the most good moments in it. But nobody who has trained at anything would swap the skill for the hours back.
Happy people are just lucky.
Partly. Notice the things that are up to you: how much you sleep, who you spend time with, whether you practise. Luck sets the weather; you still choose what to wear.
Wanting to be happy is selfish.
Then look at what actually makes people happy. Most of it involves other people liking you, which is not a selfish thing to want.
What other philosophers think
- AristotleA good life is not a good mood. He called it eudaimonia — flourishing, like a plant growing well — and said it is judged over a whole life, not a single afternoon.
- EpicurusPleasure is not the enemy, but the best pleasures are quiet ones, and most of what we fear will never happen.
- John Stuart MillSaid it is better to be a person dissatisfied than a pig satisfied — some kinds of happiness are worth more than others.
If you want to go further
- Nicomachean Ethics — AristotleBook I, where flourishing is distinguished from feeling pleased.
- Letter to Menoeceus — EpicurusVery short. The original argument that simple pleasures are the serious ones.
- Utilitarianism — John Stuart MillChapter 2 has the pig-and-Socrates line in its original context.
Most of these were written for adults, which is why it is worth reading them with someone older.